I woke up this morning feeling lousy. I went to my 8:15 a.m.class  feeling lousy. So class started and I sat there…feeling…lousy. If I was not feeling lousy enough, I was reminded that we had to present a chapter from a book. My lousy feeling just got bigger. Thankfully, I did not have to present right away.

So the presentations started. I am usually a team player and people know this about me. Scott was not a team player this morning and probably shocked my seminary friend. My friend stood in front of ten people to present and she asked if she could put me on the spot. She asked me a question that I immediately dodged, “How are you feeling this morning?”

As I listened to people share I began typing out the lousiness. Here is what came out of me:

We have lost our dominion. We are broken because we rebelled. There is no way we can ever reclaim our dominion or our identity. Look at Israel. Look at Europe. Look at Asia. Look at South America. Look at North America. We are lost. We are in a bad scene. Our lives are a mess. Nothing is ever enough. We are screwed. We sinned and blew it. No way to ever return. Nothing is ever enough. We do not honor our deep link with Adonai. We are shrouded in doubt. Without atonement, we will continue to spiral in sin. We are radioactive vessels. We have lost our connection with Adonai. We are weighed down by depression, recession, greed, pain even though we have brilliant scientists, brilliant doctors, all the technology, all the weapons and yet we still we will not make it. We want it our way. We are not connecting action with consequence. Is Adonai departing from us? Are we doomed for captivity? Are Adonai’s people lost? Where is the remnant? Who is the remnant?

May we repent. May our hard hearts be broken and may we choose to live out our free will well. We are in trouble. We are going to be punished. Yet Adonai will bring justice. If I grieve, if people grieve, think about how much Adonai weeps.